Imagine you’ve just wrapped up a first date with someone you met on a dating website or app. You think it went well, and all signs point to a second date. So, maybe you text the next day to say you had a great time and wait for a similar response. But you get nothing. No texts. No calls. It’s almost as if your date no longer exists. You may have been ghosted.
Ghosting is a popular way of cutting your losses after a date or relationship has gone south. It happens all the time, especially in the world of online dating — and it’s often considered an emotionally insensitive way to say “I’m just not that into you.”
Why Someone Might “Ghost”
Fear drives a lot of one’s choices when it comes to ghosting. Perhaps the callow ghoster didn’t quite understand how they felt at the time, and rather than talk it out, it was easier for them to just walk away.
Some may believe they’re sparing someone the hurt and humiliation of being told that they aren’t a good fit. Others may say that it just makes sense to fade away into the background, especially if you met online and don’t have any friends in common.
A combination of immaturity, poor communication skills, and limited social consequences could make it easy for someone to ghost. The potential problem is the unanticipated but very foreseeable and palpable emotional effect ghosting may have on the person who experiences it–on the receiving end.
The Effects of Ghosting
It can feel insulting and betraying to be ghosted. When someone ghosts you, you may feel disrespected. It can feel as though you have unanswered questions or a lack of closure. It may create trust issues in future new relationships. Plus, the social rejection can even cause physical pain.
Many who have been ghosted felt worried, suspicious, and angry. Second-guessing and making excuses for the other person is common, too. You might think, “Maybe I’m being too hard on them and they’ll text or call soon.” Then, when they don’t, you might wonder how you could have been so naive.
How to Cope After Being Ghosted
It can be difficult to emotionally process what’s happened when you’ve been ghosted. You must remember that it isn’t about you, rather it’s about the ghoster. They’re the ones who chose to ignore someone rather than face an emotional confrontation.
Take time to heal and do things that remind you of what you love about yourself. Avoid shutting yourself off from new relationships, and remember that you deserve to be loved and respected. After you’ve moved past the pain of being ghosted, feel free to look up your past partner to see what they’re up to. You might find some information about them that confirms they weren’t right for you, anyway.Search a person's history and background check