The Bachelor is back and everyone is talking about it. The first episode, when a gaggle of attractive women are introduced to the eligible young man (played this season by Ben Higgins), tends to be one of the most entertaining and talked about of the entire season. While each collection of eligible singles are distinct, it seems certain themes bubble up perennially on the show, now in its 20th season.
For example, some candidates for The Bachelor’s affection will prove to be too pushy, others too shy, while others, thanks to the generous portions of free alcohol, will simply get smashed.
While The Bachelor is great entertainment, you actually can learn something from it, too. As we mentioned in a previous blog post, this time of year tends to bring out the dater in many single people, with the ranks of online dating sites swelling in the first week of January. And that means a lot of first dates across America.
While you may not have the opportunity to go on quite as many first dates as Ben will over the next couple of months, the behavior of a number of his potential matches can teach you some key things about how not to act on a first date and more importantly, to determine how best to proceed when encountering such behaviors among your dates.
So with the help of The Bachelor, here are the top three red flags to watch out for on a first date:
Your date wants to kiss right away
While some open people may welcome such an act, a kiss on the lips on a first date, especially before the date has actually started, is rarely a good idea. It communicates an aggressiveness that the average person will find bewildering at best and beyond offensive at worst. The receiver of the kiss may question the kisser’s values or even sanity. This is not a good way to start a date that is not being televised for a national audience.
Your date gets drunk
An inability to remain sober on a first date may indicate a number of things, and none of them are good. It could indicate poor judgment, disrespect for the person you are out with, or even a serious drinking problem. Heavy drinking on a first date can also put both parties’ safety at risk. A first date is designed to be an introduction and for two people to get to know one another. Save that bar crawl for your first anniversary.
Your date makes demands on you
If at any point on the first date you encounter complaints, demands or negativity, treat this as a red flag. If your date can’t hide a negative attitude for a couple hours on a first date, what will it be like when he or she is actually comfortable with you? A living hell, that’s what.
It may be tempting to ignore red flags such as these, as Ben already has. When you are dating with the purpose of finding a soul mate to “complete” you, you may be willing to ignore some early negative signs and see how things develop. Our advice is steadfast: for healthy relationships, don’t ignore your intuition.