You can’t turn back the clock.
Marc Kasowitz, President Trump’s personal attorney on the Russia case, learned this the hard way earlier this week when he sent threatening-sounding emails in response to a stranger suggesting that he resign.
It all started when the individual (whose identity was confirmed by ProPublica but has chosen to remain anonymous) sent Kasowitz an email with the subject line, “Resign Now.”
Kasowitz then fired back with several enraged emails.
“I’m on you now. You are fucking with me now Let’s see who you are Watch your back , bitch,” one email states. And in another he says, “I already know where you live, I’m on you. You might as well call me. You will see me. I promise. Bro.”
Concerned, the recipient then forwarded the string of angry emails to the FBI.
Kasowitz has since issued an apology, saying he sent those emails “at the end of a very long day” and that “This is one of those times where one wishes he could reverse the clock, but of course I can’t.”
Retaining One’s Composure
The head of the President’s legal team is right about one thing: You really can’t reverse the clock.
But you can set yourself up to make better decisions when it comes responding to messages that get your blood boiling. Here are a few tips:
1. Avoid The Urge To Dramatize Things
Yes, it gets you angry. Raging. And you feel entitled to your feelings. But you must pull back on the reins and ask yourself if you’ll care as much in one year from now, or even one week. Often when you see a moment in the grander scheme of things, it helps you avoid putting too much weight on the issue.
2. Breathe Deep
Taking long, deep breaths will help you calm down and relieve your frustrations. Science proves this. The next time you find yourself hating the person who just offended you, do yourself a favor and breathe.
3. Write It Out (Just Not In An Email)
Open a blank document or the notes app on your phone and write out everything you wish to say – without sending it. The act of putting our anger into words changes how we think about our emotions, and we begin to see the situation in a more sound light.
4. Set A Delay On Your Email
Some email clients have the option to delay an email to send. This could be helpful if you end up clicking “send” on an email you wrote in passionate anger and then instantly regret it. Search for the setting options in your email client for this feature.
What To Do If You Lost Your Cool
Because sometimes, it happens.
Whether it was the end of a long day or your kids are driving you bananas, you are ultimately responsible for your behavior. It will probably be difficult, but owning up to your mistakes will help ease the tension.
Assess The Likelihood Of Legal Action
Now say you made some seriously regrettable remarks and you’re worried about getting sued or arrested. Note that expressive anger can result in more serious consequences, even if you were just “venting.”
Perhaps the most intriguing example of comments that blurred the line between freedom of speech and threats was the case of Elonis v. United States. Learn more in our post, Can Your Facebook Post Land You in Jail?
If you find yourself in this position, it might help to seek the support of a legal expert.
Best not to find yourself in the situation that Kasowitz is in in the first place. After all, you can’t turn back the clock.