What To Do When An Old Friend Unexpectedly Looks You Up

What To Do When An Old Friend Unexpectedly Looks You Up

Chloe Seaman
March 1, 2018

Thanks to social media, it’s easier than ever to stay connected with old friends, classmates, and neighbors. But being “Facebook friends” with someone or following them on Twitter doesn’t necessarily mean you’re actively in touch with that person.

That’it’s oft’rising when someone you haven’t spoken to’rs contacts you out of the blue. Perhaps you’re hit with nosta’membering the fun times you shared, or maybe you’re bitter because you h’lling out. Either way, you must decide whether to answer or ignore the message.

While there may or may not be a reason your old contact is no longer a part of your life, it can sometimes be a healthy and positive thing to reconnect with someone who once meant a lot to you, especially if you’e through some hard times lately. If the person used to make you laugh, smile, or generally feel good about yourself, inviting them back into your life can rekindle those feelings, and remind you that no matter what you’ve be’ugh, someone from your past still cares enough to reach out.

On the other hand, speaking to someone who had a toxic emotional effect on you may be the last thing you want to do, even if you think they’nged for the better.

If you’ure of how to handle this unexpected reconnection, here’s how’y safe, sane, and happy.

Want To Talk? Research Them And Re-establish Your Rapport

It’n perfectly innocuous when an old friend reaches out. Something likely happened in their life that reminded them of you, and they want to see how you’re do’er all these years.

If you’n to chatting, do some research to see what your past acquaintance has been up to. Their social media profile is a good place to start – you can see where they live and work, whether they’ve go’rried or had kids, and how they’re spending’time. That way, when you respond to them, you have something more insightful to say than a simple, “How have you been?”"

“People like to know that they have impact and make a difference, so having a basic working knowledge on their accomplishments over the past few years goes a long way,” life coach Kali Rogers said in a Bustle article. “Validating their efforts with a compliment opens the doorway to dialogue and reconnection.”

Don' Anything To Do With Them? Tell Them To Back Off

On the flip side, you may know that this person has no place in your current life. You could delete the message without answering, but let’you indulge the sender in a conversation. You quickly discover that this person is dwelling too much on “old t"8221; and you’ve bo’ged too much to have any kind of meaningful relationship now.

“It can be tempting to believe that a backlog of happy memories should make it easy to pick up where you left off,” writes Thomas Mitchell in a Sydney Morning Herald article. “But if that’the case, you owe it yourself (and the friendship you shared) to call it off.”

It’o tell an old friend you’re no’ested in staying in touch, and you shouldn’t feel guil’t it. However, if your rejected acquaintance isn’t getting the hin’may need to take some more serious measures to get them to back off, like blocking them and setting your own profiles to private so they can’t continue to digitally’you.

Concerned about a person who’ng to get back in touch with you? Use BeenVerified to search their public records and make sure you know who you’re ge’nvolved with.

Disclaimer: The above is solely intended for informational purposes and in no way constitutes legal advice or specific recommendations.