In this era of online dating sites, communication and trust have become tough to navigate in relationships. The unlimited variety offered by the internet has created a new set of red flags that affect how relationships start and develop. One common concern in modern relationships is figuring out how to find out if someone is on dating sites. Discovering the person you are connecting with is considering other options can be heartbreaking.
One possible reason that a person might be on a dating app is that they didn’t deactivate their account from the last time they used it. However, if you suspect your partner is actively scrolling through profiles and even engaging with others, then here’s how to try and find out if someone is active on dating sites.
5 ways to find out if someone is on dating sites
1. Go through the front door: Ask them
Your initial thought might be to secretly check their phone and computer, but you should probably just ask them directly. When you ask, tell them why you suspect this. Maybe their behavior has changed suddenly or your instincts are telling you something off. The level of commitment in your relationship will also determine how you approach this conversation. If this is still in the early stages and you suspect things still feel casual to your partner while you want it to be more serious, ask where they see the relationship going first.
If you’re in a more defined relationship or even married, let them know that you feel like something is off and ask them if they’re using any dating apps. One of the most important things to remember in this conversation is that a calm approach usually goes a long way. This creates space for your partner to share any new information that you might not have known before. When done right, this conversation has the potential to clear your doubts, and if your suspicions are confirmed, then you can think about how to move forward.
2. Use a dating profile reverse search app
While a straightforward conversation is a great approach, it might not lead to honesty or settle the doubts in your mind. In this case, you can turn to search services that can look up dating profiles. Services like BeenVerified can help you try to find any associated social media accounts. These paid subscription services dig through tons of information across the internet to bring you almost any type of information you’re looking for.
3. Try to make a new account using their email
This is a simple, quick method to find out if someone is on dating sites. Go to a dating website or download the app and try to use their email or phone number to make a new account. Just be careful not to go ahead with submitting, because they’re going to get a verification email which might raise some awkward questions. If you get a prompt that the email is already taken, that may help prove that they have made an account on the site. It’s possible that it is an old account that is no longer in use though, so you might still have to ask to confirm. You can also try out the next step …
4. Make an account on the dating site and search for them
Being able to get on the dating site enables you to see their entire profile for yourself and also catch any signs of recent activity. One way to do this is to use the profile of a friend and swipe through. If you want to do it yourself, create an account like normal. Ensure your age limit, location and other preferences are set to include the person. Then, swipe or go through the users like normal to see if you find who you’re looking for. If you’re using Tinder, only swipe left so you don’t hit the rate limit.
If you do, look through their profile for signs of recent activity. Recent photos are one sure way to know that the profile has been updated lately. Some platforms are also structured to highlight active users. Bumble, for example, will only show those who logged in in the last 30 days in the swiping pile.
Creating a profile may help clear any doubts. But of course, now you’re on the dating site, so that may raise more issues going forward.
5. Reverse image search their profile photo
Another quick way you may be able to see if someone is on a dating site: Use Google’s Reverse Image Search. Take a photo they’ve used on, say, their Instagram or Facebook profile page, and see if it shows up on a dating site.
To use, go to the Google Images website. Tap the camera icon on the search bar to upload the photo. Google Lens may then show the origin of the photo, as well as any other sites the person has used the same photo.
Ask yourself: Why do you suspect they are on dating sites?
Your suspicions about the other person’s online dating habits might stem from a gut feeling that things aren’t going so well. Perhaps you haven’t really committed to each other or things have been going south. Whatever the reason, this is a crucial time to define things in your relationship and think about how you want to proceed.
You might choose to request that they delete their profile from the site in order to continue the relationship. You might also decide that this is a dealbreaker and grounds for a breakup. Regardless of what you decide, it is important that you stay true to yourself and seek out a healthy relationship, not a toxic one.