The Committed Relationship Checklist

The Committed Relationship Checklist

Chloe Seaman
February 14, 2017

This Valentine’s Day you might be wondering where your relationship stands. Is it just a fling or are you ready to wear a ring?

Ask yourself if you can relate to the signs that you’re ready for long-term love:

1. You feel fulfilled in life on your own

Clinical psychologist Joseph Burgo explains that hoping that another person will make you feel good about yourself will result in a relationship that won’t last. The reality is that you’ll start getting realistic appraisement from the other person, including disappointments or criticism.

“You cannot deal with the fact that the other person isn’t idealizing you in those early stages of romance,” he adds. When this reality sets in, the relationship falls apart.

2. You’re happy with where you are in life

Being happy with yourself is the first step to having a committed relationship. Burgo says a partner should just be “another component to complete a life that’s already pretty good.”

All too often, people believe a romantic relationship will make them feel fulfilled, when in fact living contently with yourself is the beginning of having one.

3. You’ve reflected on past relationships appropriately

It’s easy to feel bitter about a relationship that ended badly, but having this perspective won’t help you have one that lasts.

Reflecting on your behaviors in past relationships is an important part of moving forward. Keep in mind that relationships take two. The things you said and did played just as much of a role just as your ex.

When you let go of anger and hopelessness, the future of having a committed relationship gets a lot brighter.

4. You know what you want

Relationships often end because conflict and drama became too much to handle, and the love you once shared falls to the wayside forever.

Now you’re much more mature and wiser and know what you want. You have no place for drama in your life. You feel ready to appropriately address the conflict that inevitably arises in every relationship.

5. You’re ready for open and honest authenticity

Lust is not commitment. Often the early days of a relationship can feel like bliss because you have the pairing of two people searching for unconditional acceptance and safety. And when the “honeymoon phase” is over, they’re shocked by the fear it could all have been an illusion.

Being ready for a committed relationship means understanding what commitment entails.

Committed partners are able to maturely teach the other about who they are in every phase of their life. This requires your open and honest authentic self to share your dreams, hopes, challenges and true thoughts.

If you can vow to be real, you’re a step closer being truly committed.

6. You can weave the past and future

Couples in committed relationships know how to revisit the past and reinvent their futures – together. Life is like an ever-changing puzzle, and if you’re going to spend it with someone else for the long-term, you need to be able to interweave your experiences and perspectives in a way that works for both of you.

If you remain committed to continually helping your partner create a better life together, and can weave each of your ideas about the past and future together, you’ve got what commitment requires.

Now after analyzing yourself… are you ready for a committed relationship?

Disclaimer: The above is solely intended for informational purposes and in no way constitutes legal advice or specific recommendations.