Going through a recent breakup? You’re not the only one. A significant peak in breakups occurs two weeks before the winter holidays.
It’s suggested that this season of breakups occurs because many would rather break up than “meet the family” (which typically coincides with the holidays) or are looking forward to the New Year, and therefore a fresh start.
Unlike the days before social media, these days you might stay in contact with your ex. The two of you might share mutual friends and have decided that you want to remain friends, too.
If this is your situation, here are some tips on how to make it work:
1. First, Spend Some Time Apart
After a breakup, you need some time to reflect as an individual. Even if it wasn’t a “bad breakup,” your feelings are still involved. Time apart will help your heart heal. When you come together as friends, you’ll be able to stand on your own two feet, knowing that you’ve coped with the breakup and are ready for the next phase of life.
2. Acknowledge The Reason You Broke Up
No matter what side of the breakup you were on, separation hurts. After you’ve taken some time to heal, you can acknowledge the reason for breaking up in a way that doesn’t get your heart in a knot. Recognizing the reason that you broke up is an essential step for ensuring that you’re re-structuring your life in a healthy way.
3. Have Your First Meeting Together In Public
When you meet as friends, keep it as casual as possible. Avoid romantic restaurants or the place you had your first kiss together. Any locations that remind you of the relationship you once had are a bad idea. Also, put off going to each other’s homes, as that’s much too intimate for your newfound friendship.
4. Avoid Calling Him Or Her Your “Ex”
You’ve both moved on and decided to be friends; therefore you should avoid referring to this person as your “ex” and instead call him or her what he or she is to you now: your friend. This will help you both have a clear perspective on where you stand.
5. Be Happy With Your Ex’s New Relationship
Just like you would with any of your friends, be supportive. Don’t compare yourself or be bitter about it. It’s inevitable that you’ll start seeing other people, so it’s best to be happy and gracious – after all, that’s what friends do.
‘Tis the season for breakups. Whether you were the one dumped or did the breaking up, you can still be friends with your ex.