Disclaimer: The below is solely intended for informational purposes and in no way constitutes legal advice or specific recommendations.
Despite vows of fidelity on their wedding day, it’s not uncommon for married individuals to stray from their spouses. In fact, Statistic Brain research found that in 41 percent of marriages, one or both spouses admitted to physical or emotional cheating.
Unfortunately, technologies like social media and dating apps have made it easier for unfaithful spouses to seek out and have affairs. While a cheater may think they’re covering their tracks, that person’s partner could easily find out, whether it’s through an accidental glance at a phone or laptop, a friend who finds the profile and spills the beans, or a deep web search by their suspicious husband or wife.
Learning that your spouse has an active dating profile can be devastating, especially if they’ve never told you they were unhappy or wanted to separate. But just because your husband or wife is on a dating site doesn’t mean they’re necessarily cheating on you – yet. There are numerous reasons why a married person might sign up for a dating site, including innocent curiosity. However, it could very well be leading toward an extramarital affair.
Once you’ve discovered your spouse’s dating profile, look for the following behaviors that could indicate cheating:
• Suspicious names or numbers are popping up on their phone all the time, and they insist it’s “just a friend or co-worker.”
• They’re getting a continuous stream of late-night texts and smiling at their phone.
• They won’t let you look at their phone, or they’ve added a new passcode so you can’t access it.
• They keep their phone on silent and in their pocket so you won’t know when they get a notification.
• They go out or stay out late without telling you, then claim their phone battery died.
The next step is having a difficult but necessary conversation with your spouse. Don’t jump into accusations of an affair; instead start by asking if your husband or wife is feeling unfulfilled in your marriage, and if so, why. If the conversation isn’t getting anywhere, bring up the dating profile and how you found out about it.
Proceed with caution here – your spouse may get defensive and try to turn the tables by saying you (or the person who told you) invaded their privacy. However, don’t let your husband or wife avoid taking responsibility for their own actions of infidelity.
If it does turn out that your spouse’s dating profile has led to an affair, you may want to enroll in couple’s therapy to get to the root of your issues and save the marriage. However, this only works if both parties are open to it and willing to return to monogamy. As difficult as it is, you may have accept that divorce is the best option if your spouse wants to pursue another relationship.
Learn more about your options for getting divorced in our blog post, DIY Divorce: Do You Really Need A Lawyer?